I am so frustrated today. I have gained about a pound a day this week. I am not eating an extra 3500 calories a day here! Can stress really do this to you? I must have some major cortisol problem if that's the case - lol. But I still squeezed myself into my 15lb ago jeans so I do not get comfy in the bigger ones. This weight MUST go away. It doesn't help that I was responsible for the office bagels today. I mean how can I go to Panera and not eat my most favorite bagel (the assiago cheese one) today? Looks like its salad for lunch :)
My body image has always been a major problem for me. I know my depression plays a major role in this, but I just can't seem to shake it. I was doing so well and then my dad died and for reasons beyond my control had to stop going to the gym. I had to get home earlier because my mom had to go back to work and could not watch the girls while I went to work out. It was all downhill from there. But even without the exercise I should have been able to keep my weight at least stable. This weight gain has really gotten me down and I just feel so frumpy lately. I really need to turn this around. I need to find some time and get motivated again - even with all the other stress swirling around me.
On top of that I forgot my blackberry today! How could I forget my crackberry??? Its usually attached to me at the hip. It would be like me forgetting to put my feet on in the morning. Oh wait - they come pre-attached. Maybe THATS why I always remember them. I don't know why I can't remember to do basic things anymore either. It drives me nuts. I pride myself on being pretty smart (wicked smart in fact), yet I can't remember to make a reservation (which reminds me...) Maybe I have to start tying string to my fingers and wiring my jaw shut. Maybe that would solve some of my problems ;)
Maybe I'll take a nice walk tonite. If I remember.
Bleedovers: A Dystopian Novella
1 year ago