Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Is this Heaven?

Yup...that is what my almost 3 year old (Alice) asked as we pulled into the cemetery that my dad is in. So my 4 year old (Sally) quickly corrected her saying that no, this was the cemetery. That is where they keep the body and the bones. Only the soul goes to Heaven and that is in the sky. But you have to be dead. That is the only way you can get to Heaven.

OH says Alice. OK.

So we get to the mausoleum that my dad is in and I show Sally where he is. Alice says - can we see him? Why is he in the wall? Can they open it? Look! - that one is broken. So I had to explain that it wasn't broken, but that someone had just died and they were making the special stone with their name on it. OH ok.

Sally is still standing looking at the wall. So I say - do you want to say anything to Pop-Pop? She gets all quiet and says yes. I love you and I miss you and starts to cry. So I start to cry and tell her that its ok to cry and that I miss him too. I also tell her that she shouldn't be afraid to cry if she is sad.

So almost on cue, Alice comes up to the both of us and gives us a hug and says "I Love Pop-Pop". We smile and stop crying. Sally stops crying because she sees the silly grin on Alice's face. I stop because I know I have this amazing little girl with an old soul that just melts me. She has an uncanny ability to make me and lots of other people just feel good. She has a warmth that an almost 3 year old shouldn't have. She has boundless empathy and sympathy - more than most adults I know. I also smile because I realize that my four year old understands that love doesn't die just because the person did. You can truly love someone forever.

Then I look over to see Jack. He wishes he could have met my dad, but he is happy to be involved in bringing Pop-Pop's girls to see him. He is so warm and caring, knowing how important these little visits are.

So I may not have my dad anymore, but I am surrounded by tons of love and support from Jack, tons of life and excitement to learn from Sally and tons of something I can't even explain from Alice. She is just amazing to me. And yes Alice - maybe it was Heaven - cause I wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else at that moment when you came in for that healing hug. I hope you never lose that charm.

"Women's Liberation is just a lot of foolishness. It's the men who are discriminated against. They can't bear children. And no one's likely to do anything about that." ~Golda Meir

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